"I Deserve..."

There are many problems with the world today, and you can boil them down to a few main sources, such as feminism, greed, communism, and others, but if you distill them a little further, the main issue is rebellion against God. 

The World and everyone who is of the World hates God, His instructions, and the very idea that there is a Being who will render a final judgment on them. 

They don’t like to be told no, but let’s face it, not a one of us particularly enjoys being told no. When God tells us no, it’s for our own good, but like spoiled children, we’ll throw a fit. 

That behavior is just among those of us who are of the household of faith, and when you expand a little further out into the world, there is genuine hatred of the One who would dare impose limits on the evil imaginations of their hearts. 

Throughout history, there has been a sense of entitlement among those who walk the path of the World, but it’s worse today than it has perhaps ever been on a widespread scale. 

There are many reasons for this, among which is the prevalence of the feminization of the Church, State, and Home. It’s a mindset of, “you owe this to me,” rather than, “I’ll go out and earn this,” and many have wrongly interpreted their desires as personal rights.

A skewed idea of what constitutes personal rights pervades society, and many have reinterpreted rights as anything they feel like they deserve to have, which means these rights must be given to them. 

However, a right is not something someone must give you; rather, a right is protecting something someone cannot take away from you—it’s a boundary against the actions and domination of others. 

The First Amendment, among other things, protects your right to free speech, and the Second Amendment protects your right to own firearms. 

They place a hard limit on the government, which the government has danced upon with great enthusiasm, and these rights are sadly approaching a point where they are almost meaningless as any sort of protection against a tyrannical government and its overreach. Rights are not privileges to be granted and taken away at the whim of the authorities; they are non-negotiable. 

Those two rights that I mentioned, free speech and firearms, are rights because they limit the government, not because they guarantee that you will be given something. These rights do not force anyone to provide you with a rifle or a sound system with which to exercise these rights. 

If you want to exercise them, you are free to do so, and no one can interfere, but no one has an obligation to provide you with the means to do so. 

If a “right” places an obligation on someone else to provide you with a service, it is no longer a right; it is, in a way, a debt owed to you by everyone else. 

Free healthcare is not a right exactly because it places an obligation upon someone else to provide you with that service, regardless of whether or not the government is paying for it. 

If the government is paying for something, that means the rest of society is paying for it. 

If there is anything you consider a basic right, it’s pretty easy to determine whether or not that thing is actually a right or not. 

Does it limit what the government or others can do to you? 

It’s a right.

Does it encroach on the rights of others and obligate someone to provide you with a service?

Then it’s not a right. 

Welfare, free healthcare, free phones, free cars, immigration, happiness, the services of others, and many other such things are not rights for the exact reason that they obligate someone else to provide you with their money or services for free. 

Basically, the mindset is that they owe you something; their time and resources belong to you without due compensation. In other words, for whatever amount of time you are utilizing their services and resources, they are your slave. 

Hopefully, the evil of such a mindset is obvious. 

The discussion of rights brings us back around to our original topic, which is the sense of entitlement that permeates our society. 

One of the most common phrases you’ll hear today, especially in relationships of any sort, is “I deserve” with any number of nouns, adjectives, or adverbs following on its heels. Declaring ‘I deserve’ is simply a way of rebranding your personal desires as immutable rights.

What we deserve is different from rights in a fundamental way, however, because declaring that we deserve something is a statement about our perceived worthiness to receive whatever it is we think we’re owed. 

It’s a statement about your perceived worthiness to receive that thing and the inherent injustice of not receiving it. 

Just because something is a right does not mean you deserve that right or are worthy of that right, whatever it may be. 

Rights exist regardless of worthiness because they require something of you to exercise that right. If you deserve something, that means you are worthy of it, and it is owed to you. 

So, do you deserve to be happy, to have your needs met, free healthcare, love, a car, a house, clothes, food, and a bunch of money?

That's a major question because most people, especially women, would say that they do, especially the first two things. 

As Christians, we must take any questions we have back to the Bible, and this particular question is no different. 

What do we, as humans, actually deserve? 

Ezekiel 18:4 NKJV — “Behold, all souls are Mine; The soul of the father As well as the soul of the son is Mine; The soul who sins shall die.

Then in Ephesians, it declares that everyone is a child of wrath, meaning they deserve to have the wrath of God come upon them.

Ephesians 2:3 NKJV — among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

At the most fundamental level, then, all men deserve only one thing: death. 

However, because of the free gift of God, the blood of His Son, we have been gifted with eternal life. 

Romans 6:23 NKJV — For the wages of sin [is] death, but the gift of God [is] eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We went from only being worthy of death to being worthy of the family of God, not because of anything we did, but because of the lifeblood of Jesus the Anointed. So, to declare that we deserve to be happy and to have our needs met is a gross error, because what we really deserve as children of wrath is death. 

John 1:12 NKJV — But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:

Because we have repented and turned to Him, God has given us the right to become His children, but it's a right we are entirely unworthy of on our own, which flies straight in the face of the gospel of self-love and self-esteem.  

Now, when we talk about deserving something, we're not strictly dealing with eternal consequences in this life, so let's go through purely what we deserve in our physical life rather than what we deserve spiritually. 

Spiritually, we deserve death; physically, however, is it any different? 

The gospel of self-esteem would have us believe that we inherently deserve to have everything, and those who would deny us our every want and desire must be cast aside for holding us back. 

We deserve to have it, and it’s a terrible injustice for someone not to give it to us. 

Even physically, we run into a major roadblock to deserving anything at all because we are called to deny ourselves, deny our flesh, and follow Jesus. 

Not just deny, but actually die to our flesh and its desires! 

Luke 9:23 NKJV — Then He said to [them] all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.

And as the end of the fruits of the Spirit declare:

Galatians 5:24 and those who are of Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with the affections and the desires;

See, that's the thing about the Biblical way of looking at things, because it's not, “What do I deserve to have given to me,” it's “What is my duty before God?” 

Our duty before God is not to have our needs met, to be happy, or to be rich; it’s to live in total submission and obedience to Him through His law. 

Will we often have our needs met, money, and happiness, though? 

Quite often!

We do not deserve to have them, however, because they are blessings that God gives as He chooses, not inherent rights or things we are owed, and we do not get those things by seeking after them as do the heathen who do not know God (1st Thessalonians 4:5)! 

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 The end of the whole matter let us hear: “Fear God, and keep His commands, for this [is] the whole of man. 

14 For every work God brings into judgment, with every hidden thing, whether good or bad.

The whole of man is an interesting topic for many reasons, and many are worried about how to be a complete or whole man. I myself have read many books on the topic, but none of them compare to the instructions we’re given in the Word of God, which is really quite simple. 

Fear God and keep His commandments!

That’s our duty before God! 

In his first letter to the Thessalonians, at the end of several commands in righteous living, Paul gives a very interesting benediction to the men of this assembly, and it is as follows:

1 Thessalonians 5:23 LFV And may He Himself, the God of the peace, set you apart completely, and may your whole, the spirit and the life and the body, blamelessly at the arrival of our Lord Iēsous the Anointed be preserved.

24 Faithful [is] the One calling you, Who also will do [it]. 

The focus of the Bible is not what we get; it's our duty we owe to God and what we give, and in return God will make us whole and preserve us! 

That's an important distinction, because God's way is selfless, not selfish. We do not have a right to the things He has given others, and others do not have a right to the things He has given us. 

Modern thought declares a right to the things of others for the common good, especially where welfare and taxes are concerned. However, even though we are commanded to help the poor in God's word, how much we help is left up to our own decision, not government taxation. 

For example, the Israelites were commanded to leave the corners of their fields for the poor to glean in so they could have food (Leviticus 19:9-10). 

We have a direct command from God, but notice that God didn't define what the corner of the field is. Do you have to leave five feet at the corner or thirty? 

God didn't say explicitly, and He left it up to the Israelites' judgment! 

A generous person could leave as much in the corners of his field as he wanted, and a stingy person could leave much less, but it was left up to their own choice. 

Freewill is not a subject we give much thought to regarding God's law, but I'll deal with this topic more in a future post. The point is, under God's system, people have no inherent right to the resources of another human, with one exception: marriage.

In a marriage, a wife has the right to sex with her husband and a husband has the right to sex with his wife, as mutual surrender to the covenant. That's the only thing that is expressed as a debt, and the only aspect of a husband's resources a wife has the right to; however, she does have the right to be provided for by her husband. What does that look like? 

Like the corners of the field, that’s pretty much left up to her husband, but it must include food, sex, and clothing, which is a way of saying the husband provides for her physical needs (Not wants, needs. Exodus 21:10). 

Which brings us back to duty. 

Duty is doing what we ought before God, and it is the base level at which we function, but too often people fall below duty because they base their duty on how they feel at any given time. 

Our duty is everything in the sense that it cannot be ignored if we are to follow Jesus. 

If we’re determining what we deserve, that makes us the judge of our own duty, worthiness, and righteousness, a pretty dangerous place to be. 

The world says, “Do something for yourself and look out for number one. Treat yourself!” 

God says, “Death to yourself! Serve your brothers and Me.”

Acts 20:35 NKJV - "I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' "

In my writing, I tend to focus on the bare bones of duty rather than emotional fluff because our covenantal duty is so important and so few of us even know what that duty is, let alone even attempting to meet that duty, the very baseline of what we’re supposed to be accomplishing!

Luke 17:10 NKJV - "So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.' "

There’s one more item I want to touch on before finishing up, and that is the idea that our spouse owes us happiness or meeting our needs. As we already saw, the only need mandated by Scripture is sex, and the reason for this is that the law does not deal in the abstract. 

What does it even mean when someone says, “My needs aren’t being met!”? 

It really means nothing at all, though what they probably mean is that they do not feel emotionally fulfilled. 

We cannot quantify such a thing, which is why it’s important to take things like this back to Scripture and see if what you’re demanding of another human aligns with what’s written.

As we’ve already covered, to declare that someone is not meeting your needs or making you happy is to declare that they owe you that thing. 

“I deserve to be happy!” means that you are being cheated when someone does not give that happiness to you, and it’s okay to go looking for someone who will fill that selfish, fleshly hole in your heart and get rid of the evil person who would dare deny you the highest pinnacle of human achievement. 

I hope you hear the absurdity and recognize this as a variation on the original lie Satan told Eve (Genesis 1:3-6).

Let’s take that back one step, however, and ask the question, why are you looking for happiness in a human in the first place?

Happiness in the Bible is typically in the form of being blessed, which comes only from God, and in fact, the word translated as happy in Hebrew and Greek means blessed. The Bible does not speak in abstract terms of happiness, but in concrete blessings from God. 

To be blessed is to be happy!

Here is a sampling of what the Bible has to say about blessings. I’ve included the NKJV and a literal translation for comparison. 

Psalm 144:15 NKJV - Happy [are] the people who are in such a state; Happy [are] the people whose God [is] the LORD!

LSV 15 O the blessedness of the people that is thus, "" O the blessedness of the people whose God [is] YHWH!

Proverbs 14:21 NKJV - He who despises his neighbor sins; But he who has mercy on the poor, happy [is] he.

LSV 21 Whoever is despising his neighbor sins, "" Whoever is favoring the humble, "" O his blessedness.

Proverbs 29:18 NKJV - Where [there is] no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy [is] he who keeps the law.

LSV 18 A people is made naked without a vision, "" And whoever is keeping the Law, O his blessedness!

Acts 26:2 NKJV - "I think myself happy, King Agrippa, because today I shall answer for myself before you concerning all the things of which I am accused by the Jews,

LSV 2 “Concerning all things of which I am accused by Jews, King Agrippa, I have thought myself blessed, being about to make a defense before you today,

When people think of happiness, they are usually talking about an emotion, which is more correctly defined as joy or delight. Joy and delight are choices that we make, and we can choose to take joy or delight in something at any given moment. 

Happiness, however, is being blessed by God: His gifts, His blessings, His grace. 

Every gift and blessing, even if it comes by way of a human, ultimately comes from God, because all things belong to God.

James 1:17 NKJV — Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

Deuteronomy 10:14 Behold, the heavens, even the heavens of the heavens, [belong] to your God YHWH, [as does] the earth and all that [is] in it.

So what we are really doing when we're looking to someone or something to make us happy is replacing God. We're saying we deserve to be happy, so since God won’t give us something the way we think He should, we're going to demand it from someone other than God. 

Philippians 3:18 NKJV - For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, [that they are] the enemies of the cross of Christ:

Philippians 3:19 NKJV - whose end [is] destruction, whose god [is their] belly, and [whose] glory [is] in their shame--who set their mind on earthly things.

If you’re focused on “I deserve,” that's idolatry. 

You're demanding that another human do what God alone can do, and looking to a human for the prerogative of God is in every sense of the word the worship of a false God, and a direct feminine distortion of the covenant and of society (It’s good for a woman to be feminine, but disastrous for a society). 

It moves the focus from the objective Law (Fatherhood/Order/Masculinity) to the subjective Feeling (The Need/The Void/Femininity).

The husband mirrors God’s own role as provider, and the wife mirrors our own role as the one who is provided for, and yet, there are some things that husbands simply cannot provide for a wife. 

God reserved those things for Himself alone, and blessings, a satisfied soul, is one of those things. 

Psalm 107:1 LSV “Give thanks to YHWH, "" For [He is] good, for His kindness [is] for all time”:

2 Let the redeemed of YHWH say [so], "" Whom He redeemed from the hand of an adversary.

3 And has gathered them from the lands, "" From east and from west, "" From north, and from the sea.

4 They wandered in a wilderness, in a desert by the way, "" They have not found a city of habitation.

5 Hungry—indeed—thirsty, "" Their soul becomes feeble in them,

6 And they cry to YHWH in their adversity, "" He delivers them from their distress,

7 And causes them to tread in a right way, "" To go to a city of habitation.

8 They confess to YHWH His kindness, "" And His wonders to the sons of men.

9 For He has satisfied a longing soul, "" And has filled a hungry soul [with] goodness.

How incredibly wonderful that picture is!

Who meets our needs, satisfies our souls, or gives us blessings?

Who provides for us?

We’re all bent on forcing a human into that role, and at an even larger scale, the government. By doing so, we turn these people and our governments into idols, finite substitutes for an infinite Provider and Father. 

What’s worse, when these idols fail to deliver, as they always will, they are withholding what they owe us, which makes us resent them for denying us what we feel we deserve. 

Jeremiah 17:5 NKJV - Thus says the LORD: "Cursed [is] the man who trusts in man And makes flesh his strength, Whose heart departs from the LORD.

Jeremiah 17:6 NKJV - For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, And shall not see when good comes, But shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, [In] a salt land [which is] not inhabited.

Jeremiah 17:7 NKJV - "Blessed [is] the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD.

Jeremiah 17:8 NKJV - For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit.

Trusting in man for the things of God is a curse, and one people are all too eager to seek after!

Jeremiah 2:11 NKJV - Has a nation changed [its] gods, Which [are] not gods? But My people have changed their Glory For [what] does not profit.

Jeremiah 2:12 NKJV - Be astonished, O heavens, at this, And be horribly afraid; Be very desolate," says the LORD.

Jeremiah 2:13 NKJV - "For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, [And] hewn themselves cisterns--broken cisterns that can hold no water.

The water is our hope and trust, so seeking people to fulfill us, to make us whole, happy, or blessed, is like putting our water into broken cisterns. People are broken, and we cannot look to them to fulfill our trust.  

Now, there’s nothing wrong with finding joy in people or delighting in them, but it's not something they owe you; it’s a choice you make. 

Looking to them to make us happy will always disappoint, because happiness is a blessing from God.  

Our egos can’t handle taking responsibility for our own emotions and feelings, but the truth is, if we aren’t happy, it’s not because other people didn’t give us what they owed us. If we aren’t feeling happy, it’s because our trust is not in God, and we have not chosen to be joyful. 

If you’re not feeling joy, look up and count your blessings. 

As sons of wrath, the only thing we deserved was death, but now, as children through the gift of the life of Jesus, we have the right to be called the Sons of God. God has given us so many blessings, so many things to be thankful for, and it’s our responsibility to find the joy in those things. 

If we’re walking in the Spirit, one of the things we produce will be that joy, and if we’re not producing joy, then we need to double-check where we’re walking. 

Do we deserve happiness? 

We absolutely do not. 

In the famous chapter of blessings that Moses reads before the Israelites as they’re preparing to cross into the promised land, God makes it quite clear that blessings/happiness come from obedience to Him. He promises that He will bless those who are obedient to Him. 

Deuteronomy 28:1 NKJV - "Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the LORD your God will set you high above all nations of the earth.

Deuteronomy 28:2 NKJV - "And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the LORD your God:

That’s the thing about blessings: if we deserved them, they wouldn’t be blessings, only payment. 

God never promises us a free ride in this life, but He does promise us success in our labors if we are obedient to Him. In fact, the greatest picture of true happiness, which Solomon declared as man’s all, is to serve God. 

We’ll finish with Psalm 128, which is a true picture of happiness for the Man of God. 

No free ride, just the blessing of labor with your own hands, a good wife, and faithful children, even to the second and third generations. 

True happiness, true joy, and true delight. 

Not owed, not deserved; freely given as a blessing for obedience by our magnificent and faithful Father. 

Psalm 128:1 NKJV - A Song of Ascents. Blessed [is] every one who fears the LORD, Who walks in His ways.

Psalm 128:2 NKJV - When you eat the labor of your hands, You [shall be] happy/blessed, and [it shall be] well with you.

Psalm 128:3 NKJV - Your wife [shall be] like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table.

Psalm 128:4 NKJV - Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the LORD.

Psalm 128:5 NKJV - The LORD bless you out of Zion, And may you see the good of Jerusalem All the days of your life.

Psalm 128:6 NKJV - Yes, may you see your children's children. Peace [be] upon Israel!

© Kyle Bacher, 2026